1. Name all of your pens and insist that meeting can't start until they're all present.

2. Schedule meeting for 4:14 PM.

3. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers and tape dispensers.

4. Hi-lite your shoes. Then tell people you haven't lost your shoes since you did it.

5. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive

6. When a co-worker walks by motion him over, lean forward like you're going to say something then get back to work.

7. Page yourself over the intercom (Don't disguise your voice.)

8. Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing.
For example: "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."

9. Include a personal note on every e-mail that you send.
"On a personal note, I'm feeling a bit tired and grumpy today."
"On a personal note, I'm pleased to announce that I got my highest score on Tetris last night."

10. Every time you enter the room, sit on a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."